Boundaries and the Burden of Resistance

I have noticed lately it's been so hard to keep motivated and stay with something. I am my own worst critic. My projects get discarded or stuck in limbo. I have talked myself out of my hobbies, my motivation wanes, and I become frustrated. All because I haven't put the time in to get my projects where I want them. I beat myself up and create barriers. We've all been there.

Resistance is a smooth talker. It talks us out of anything because at the end of the day that is its goal. In Steven Pressfield's book Do The Work, he explains how we get distracted by resistance. Resistance thrives on pulling us off-kilter at any given moment if you let it. The power we hold is to “do the work!” Easier said than done. But to keep ahead of resistance is your superpower.

The process is not always pretty but it helps to start. You'll speed away from resistance and open up to what he calls “the universal forces of Assistance.”

Assistance is our sidekick. It's the right-hand man to completing our work and our goals. If we are the knight, and Resistance is the dragon. Then assistance is our guide, our friend, a noble steed. He likened it to Odysseus needing Athena to guide him home. We all need an Athena to guide us home.

Resistance found its hold on me. The signs were there and I could see them but I couldn't pull myself out of the tailspin fast enough.

In a world of constant connection and disruption, it's hard to step away from Resistance. Boundaries help us push resistance out the door and allow the opportunity to flow.

Unfortunately, this takes a lot of practice but allows you the space to change, grow and keep growing. Growing pains hurt, but staying in a state of resistance hurts more.

Here are the 4 things I do to create healthy boundaries to release my burdens of resistance.

1. Put the phone away. Aeroplane mode is a helpful tool. Try it one night for a few hours. At first, resistance will rear its head and make you crave that phone open, and demand you check your phone. But it's in your power to push back. You'll be able to devote uninterrupted time to get out of your funk and create something you love. The ring of our phone is the greatest burden we’ve given to ourselves. But it's up to us to create healthy boundaries with it. Setting aside time with fewer distractions is a great start to removing the burden. You’ll feel guilty at first, but soon you'll be craving those uninterrupted hours to create. You'll find you want to block out chunks of time specific to those things. It's all about staying in motion.

2. Explain to friends and family your time off is important. If they are your friends they won’t mind. Your besties will understand your need to recalculate and will support you wholeheartedly. Some may even offer help to keep you accountable. Cherish the friends and family willing to help you. They are your assistance against resistance.

3. Write some attainable goals right this moment. I write a “to-done list” which has smaller goals that get me feeling less overwhelmed. They are attainable but help me get back into the mindset I need to achieve. Things on this list are “make breakfast,” “make the bed,” or “write one email.” That's all you need to get going. You’re cleaning your house, or writing all those people back in your inbox at lightning speed. A little bit goes a long way. Give yourself time and grace to get started and maintain the boundaries you need.

4. Make a list of what your life looks like with healthy boundaries and goals. It can shed some light on how you want to manifest these boundaries. Often having a list or putting those ideas out there manifests them in huge ways. It's like the universe is listening to your wishes so it can grant you the alignment! So go for it. Take a chance and dream big! What do the boundaries look like, how do you feel, what brings you joy? It'll all make sense seeing it written down. Planning shouldn't remove us from the action. Plan but don't get lost in the details of planning and researching. Keep the list short and sweet. Go with your gut and take the chance you've been wanting! This is your sign.

If you need a little motivation read Steven Pressfield’s book Do the Work. This book is written clearly and is a good reminder. Try your best to stay ahead of the little voice of resistance in your head. Make sure to have grace for yourself in these moments. Allow yourself the space to try and succeed! These are the first steps to getting out of the rut and moving forward with your epic goals. All the while you've created a few healthy boundaries!

Let me know in the comments how you maintain boundaries and tackle resistance.

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-Wellness Wonder Woman